A Post Card from Darryn Lyons

Owner of Home House and Celebrity Photographer:

September 2008 -
A postcard from Bali, Indonesia

Greetings,

When I last left you I was crossing the wonderful fields of France with the Mediterranean glistening in the background. This week, I’ve travelled over the world’s largest ocean via Warranambool and the Crown Casino, Studio, 3 addressing the AIPP (Australian Institute of Professional Photography) about life, love, passion, imagery, death , destruction and the cat that had nine lives (Almost), which that my friends would be me! Yes, my life will be a roller coaster whether I like it or not!

After one night in Geelong, and  I must say very unlike a night in Bangkok ( Pardon the pun) I bordered Garuda GA 719 at Melbourne International Airport and headed back where I had just come with my very best friend from the age of 12, Mario and his family. They are a very similar clan to that of the Griswold (Yes, that movie National Lampoon’s Vacation). Wolly’s World and all that malarkey!

As the plane doors opened on the Denpasar tarmac, the unmistakable, saturating heat knocked you back into your hand luggage and dripping with sweat I arrived at the luggage carousel to be greeted by a 100 strong force of porters all in a clan singing ‘Like your hair boss’. I know they were really thinking ‘I’m about you rip you off mate’ and they just did that!

If I thought that wasn’t enough, I left customs to be greeted by a beast…1000 screaming Balinese waving travel boards like a feisty, frenzied crowd at an AFL Grand Final! Mr Lyons was nowhere to be seen, but the hair was killing them with laughter. As far as Bali was concerned, ET had arrived!

I had been here 20 years ago for the first time with Geelong radio legend, Mad Dog Don Dwyer and then again 10 years ago, chasing the then topless Spice Girls at the height of their fame. I had noticed an overwhelming change in the place. The hustling and bustling was not here, but the distinctive smells were. The ‘you want beamo, jiggy jig’ or dodgy fake branded anything wasn’t wringing in one’s ears as it had done all those years ago.

I then turned and looked to the left out of my driver’s window and a spectacular memorial streamed into the sky with almighty power. It’s gold and black marble had inscribed the many poor souls from around the globe who had lost their lives in the Bali bombings. No wonder the soul had gone! The murderous bastards have not only killed many innocent victims, but have killed off an incredibly vibrant island. It was to most of us Aussies, our second holiday home.

The gracious and most beautiful Balinese people have lost so much, not only loved ones, but livelihoods. Their smiles though, are robust and their kindness unfaultering.

I sat down for dinner that night with Mars on the Lejian Kuta Strip only meters from the bomb site. In an instant, a car backfired and the look on the waitress’ face and everyone around just said it all! Even in my short lifetime, oh how the world has changed! LEST WE FORGET!

Ps- Now for some happy celebrity news, live from Bali…..

My sources can reveal that Samantha Ronson and the media hungry Lindsay Lohan are planning to have a baby, I’ve just heard they’ve already selected the lucky sperm donor and you’ll never guess who it is….. Mark bleedin’ Ronson!! I sh*t you not. According to my secret source, Lindsay told Sam that she’s been feeling more and more maternal in the past few months and she wants to get pregnant. Sam was completely overjoyed, because starting a family with Lindsay is a dream come true for her. They both think that Samantha’s older brother, Mark Ronson, would be the perfect sperm donor. Oh dear, we don’t even know where to begin, but if this actually happens I’ll eat my flip flops!

Till next time, don’t forget to keep checking out mrpaparazzi.com for your celebrity gossip hits.

Take care and enjoy the beginning of summer!

Giddy Up and God Bless,

Darryn “Mr Paparazzi” Lyons

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